When I was in grad school, someone once told me that the work isn’t necessarily going to be harder or that much more challenging. But, what grad school is really all about is how many hoops you can jump through at once all while balancing 10 different plates on every limb of your body. Somehow, wedding planning feels very much the same. Everything that needs to get done isn’t hard by any means, but it is overwhelming and stressful.
Let add in one fact here too. Your cortisol levels (a.k.a. the stress hormone) increase significantly prior to your wedding. My wedding is exactly 40 days away. So to say I am a bit stressed in an understatement. And, stress is a trigger for me (though I am sure it is a trigger for many people). It makes me want to stay home, eat pizza, avoid anything unpleasant or annoying, and makes me want to go out to drink my sorrows away. Really, I am being a bit dramatic, but you get my point. It makes me want to throw everything I’ve worked so hard for right out the window.
This post was supposed to be another 6 week update on my goals, and I reallllyyyy didn’t want to do it. I thought for sure I had made zero progress. Over the last 6 weeks there was a bachelorette party, stress, lots of happy hours, a few hangovers, stress, lots of dinners out with Matty and essentially lots of poor decision making regarding my diet (and more stress). My only saving grace here was the fact that I have maintained going to the gym 5-6 days a week. So even though I didn’t reach all of my goals over the last month and half, I did still make some progress. I still dropped a couple pounds, lost inches in by chest, waist, thighs and calves and can even do more than 20 consecutive military push ups. I’m so relieved there was some progress made despite all my indulgences… not sure if I could have handled it if there wasn’t.
Being a goal oriented person, it really bothers me when I don’t reach my goals. And with just 40 days to go until my big day, the pressure is really on to stay focused. I now realize how often I look to food and booze to deal with stress, and I absolutely can not keep going down that road. I know I need to change my perspective and see that all this working out and healthy eating really is what will keep my stress in check. So, from here on out until the wedding, I giving my diet more attention and staying away from booze. (I must be a masochist if I am cutting out alcohol….) If I keep letting the stress get to me, I know I will be super disappointed in myself. And, truly I want nothing but positivity on my wedding day.
This whole wedding planning experience has been a total roller coaster ride. One moment I am super stressed and over it, while the next I am excited and can’t wait for the day to get here. When I go back and look at all the blog posts I’ve written so far, I feel like you can see the ups and downs so clearly. One post is all about the excitement, while the next is all about the setbacks. Though my road to this wedding hasn’t exactly been a fairy tail, I don’t think it supposed to be. I think the stress and the work involved is supposed to help you and your other half lean on each other and work through the mess of details together. I guess it’s all really just prep for marriage. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.