A couple weeks ago my future in-laws flew in from Boston to spend a long weekend with Matt and I here in Denver. I was pleasantly surprised when the first words out of my future-Mother-In-Law’s mouth to me were “Wow! Kristy you look great!” This was super encouraging. I’ve been working out 6-7 days a week, trying to keep my diet in check and it simply felt great to know that all this effort is not being done in vain. Though, this also brought up some uncomfortable feelings for me as well.
I’ve lived across the country from my family for over 10 years now. And, the one consistent thing that always occurs with every family visit is that someone greets me with a comment on my figure. I’ve truly been told a range of opinions on how I look. Some comments, like my mother-in-law’s, have been great.. Like ‘You look so healthy.’ On the contrary, other comments have left me feeling shitty and confused. I’ve been told I was “too skinny” while also have been told I could “stand to lose 5 pounds.” WTF!
Two things about this bother me. 1.) That people still seem to think these negative judgmental comments are okay. And 2.) I know I am not the only woman (or person for that matter) who has experienced judgmental comments about their body. Though I want to give people the benefit of the doubt that their intentions are not to hurt anyone, it still doesn’t feel very good. I keep thinking of that old saying… If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
At the end of this month I will be flying back to Boston for my Bridal Shower and will visit with many family and friends who I haven’t seen in over a year or so. And, without fail, the anxiety of ‘what are they going to say’ has been in the forefront of my mind. This always sends me straight into some old habits and patterns that I know are simply not healthy or smart. I’ve been stressing about my appearance, obsessing about the number on the scale, I’ve been trying to squeeze in extra workouts and having been riding myself pretty hard over my diet.
What I really need to learn from all this is to just let it go. (Maybe Elsa from Frozen was onto something). The fact of the matter is that someone else’s opinion of my weight, shape or figure really doesn’t (or shouldn’t) have any influence on my life. I’m not putting in all this work to feel and look my best for the rest of the world. Truly I am doing it for me. Even Taylor Swift has learned this lesson… haters gonna hate but you just need to shake it off.
I know when I arrive at my bridal shower, I will absolutely be showered with love. My family really is amazing I know they are planning something spectacular for me. I also know I have been working hard, and if someone has to say something about my appearance, I am sure it will be a compliment just like my mother-in-law’s… Something positive and encouraging. I guess this lesson on letting it go and shaking it off has just been a challenging one for me to learn. I hope if you get nothing else out of this post, and if you’ve ever experienced judgmental comments about your body, know you’re not alone and shake it off.